October 18, 2010
Disappointed with God
After much fighting, praying, fasting, one of our young moms has chosen to go back to her old life of prostit*tion and drugs. This was a blow to my heart, especially after it seemed as though she was doing so well. The judge had released her from prison with the understanding she would complete one year of Rehab with a drug crisis center and counseling/discipleship with Baby Safe. Originally this was her idea and desire to finally leave that lifestyle. She called me from prison and asked for help. But one week into rehab and the old life wooed her back. She is more violent, destructive, and manipulative than ever before. I have really struggled with this. My heart grieves over this girl. I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t save her after so many prayers, fastings, etc. I felt the Lord say that He did draw her unto Himself and He did reveal Himself to her in prison, but when she was faced with garbage, she chose the garbage. It was almost as if our prayers had bound the demonic influences over her life, but through her choosing, the demonic came back 7 times stronger.At this point, she is extremely angry with me. She has even gone so far as to accuse me of horrible things. Of course, no one in the community I have relationships with buys her lies. O how i wish this story had a different ending. i find myself wondering, "is hope too lost for her?". But i hold onto hope, i know this is not the end of the story. He redeems...
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